SEPTEMBER 19, 1958 - APRIL 21, 1998
God's Eternal
Candle
by: ©Clay Fugitte
The candle above burns
bright,
It's of the Love of Gods' Light.
It burns an eternal flame,
For the hour when God calls our name.
It burns for those whom we have known,
For the love of family,
And the seeds we have sown.
It's brilliant flame flickering against the window pane
Lighting a loved ones way to Heavens Gate.
Where we'll be met without strife or worldly pain,
To enter into Gods' Golden domain.
Fear not death when it comes for you,
God will Love, Protect and Cherish you.
God will use the candles soft glow,
To guide you through Heavens' Way,
It matters not how slow,
For you are now in God's house to stay.
Author: ©Clay Fugitte 6/15/97
Dear Steve,
I write this letter even though you can not read this. My heart aches at your passing. You were a man full of questions and a troubled heart. You searched your whole life for answers to questions that were right there in front of your eyes. The self doubt and questions finally became so over powering that you decided to take your life. Oh, Steve how I wish I could have been there when you needed me the most. I would have told you that I loved you and that I looked up to you as my big brother and my friend!! I would have helped you find the answers to your questions if you would have let me!!
Life was so simple when we were kids!! You took me to my first McDonalds!! I was so pround that you took the time to take me!! I remember the time that I wanted to be in your "club" really bad!! You handcuffed me to the drain pipe with a pair of pipe couplings. I could have gotten out easily because my arms were so skinny, but you said that I would be in the "club" if I stayed there. I don't remember how long I stayed there. You always had all the talent you could draw the coolest pictures, make the piano dance, and do practically any sport you put your mind to. I was always uncoordinated and geeky. How I wish I had half the talent you had. But, you never thought you were good enough. You only saw the pain of your own self doubt.
As we grew older you began to pull away. You were just out of High School and I in Junior high. I sat in your really cool 69 Dodge SuperBee. That is where I saw the first sign of trouble. How I wish I had snitched on you. But, I still wanted to be accepted by you! So, I didn't tell mom and dad about the pot pipe. You asked me to be quiet and I did. Time went on and I grew older. You gave me my first motorcycle. We had so much fun riding together.
How I wanted to be your friend and not just your little brother. I finally felt that I had achieved that relationship. By that time I had graduated from college and had gotten married. My bride and I moved away to California. A few years later I was told that you were battling alcohol and possible drug addiction. I always felt I would return and pick up our relationship. But, the kids came and I stayed in California.
Steve, I failed you!! I should have been there to be your friend and tell you that you were worth something. You are my brother and I love you!! You didn't have to kill yourself!! I'm sorry that I couldn't have been there in your darkest hour! Please forgive me Steve!! I MISS YOU!!
JERRY
Dear web surfer,
If you or someone you know can identify with Steve's hurt and pain, Please click on the following link!!
You are special and you would be surprised by who looks up to you!! Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!!